I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
