at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
