so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize