She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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