Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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