just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize