i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
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He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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