If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
