just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
