Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Can you return condoms to CVS?

  (516): View more from New York

  Only if you return your pride as well.

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  (631): Can you return condoms to CVS? (516): Only if you return your pride as well. http://tfl.nu/vx1b
  Replies (32) Good night (585) Bad night (3538)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

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  (905): I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/5s3p
  Replies (19) Good night (833) Bad night (3189) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.

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  (540): it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/zwfn
  Replies (25) Good night (7511) Bad night (1233) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.

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  (508): I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week. http://tfl.nu/6t8r
  Replies (16) Good night (3420) Bad night (1266) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.

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  (203): tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer. http://tfl.nu/kiay
  Replies (10) Good night (5020) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone just got laid.

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  (480): Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness? (774): Someone just got laid. http://tfl.nu/ub8q
  Replies (17) Good night (9067) Bad night (1056)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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  (248): i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid. http://tfl.nu/t711
  Replies (33) Good night (8623) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.

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  (860): He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter. http://tfl.nu/21c2
  Replies (18) Good night (4977) Bad night (1305) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.

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  (443): The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/hkf6
  Replies (6) Good night (1445) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.

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  (920): I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs. http://tfl.nu/adoe
  Replies (7) Good night (2144) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.

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  (575): You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/h3k6
  Replies (13) Good night (1663) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.

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  (856): two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets. http://tfl.nu/gsqf
  Replies (4) Good night (434) Bad night (1620) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.

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  (803): Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class. http://tfl.nu/uw6v
  Replies (5) Good night (863) Bad night (1143) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.

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  (802): All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right. http://tfl.nu/z8z5
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (134)
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  (650): View more from California

  I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?

  (831): View more from California

  I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak

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  (650): I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up? (831): I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak http://tfl.nu/xa8u
  Replies (4) Good night (1179) Bad night (159)

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