Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.