Betty ford says i'm here all night
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
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Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.