I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀