You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex