Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother