Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish life had little blips of pornography
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
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she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
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Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If its not for food we ain't going out.