Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
