I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
