in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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