windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
