a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
im on a boat
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