Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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