Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
