Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
