no, he came in my armpit
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
