WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
