spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
