dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
two words...techno handjob
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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