she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
