The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize