I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
