Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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