Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
