I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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