I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize