what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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