The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
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We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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