And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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