friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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