One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
