I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize