I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
