dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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