Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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