Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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