4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize