Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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