Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
sarcasm needs its own font
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize