the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
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