do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I will be naked everywhere
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
