# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
