I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
