We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
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No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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