OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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