This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
