Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
