I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
