she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
