i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Couch. On fire.
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