new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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