why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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