we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
false alarm, still single
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
