i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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